The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nightdress by Ross O'Carroll-Kelly,Paul Howard

So there I was roysh, life focked, reputation focked, finances focked �

everything completely focked, roysh, and we�re talking big time.

And it�s all Fionn�s fault, basically. He�s the four-eyed focker who told me that, like, the first time you do it, roysh, you�re firing blanks. Like an unloaded Uzi �

seriously impressive, hard as fock and totally ready for action, but the safety�s, like, on, you know. Well that was a pile of stinking turds for storters. And of course it�s muggins here who ends up with the kid � life is SO focking unfair. On top of all that, roysh, the goys stort to, like, totally lose it � JP has gone all Jesus on my orse, Oisinn is basically trying to fock over Interpol and Christian is talking about weddings and, I don�t know, love and stuff. I mean, I am seriously beginning to feel like I am the only good-looking, loaded, sane goy in the whole of, like, Dublin.